Do hipsters own mirrors?

[Big Red]

I'm sure they do, but do they understand what they're used for? I was wondering this the other day at the polls. I looked over at this hipster couple and wondered how on earth they could leave the house knowing they looked the way they did. I have to admit that it clearly took a lot of time to pomade that hair and get it to hang on their foreheads in just the right expertely-sculpted-sloppy fashion they could, but I couldn't imagine wanting to let anyone see me looking that way. Same with the matching scarves, horn rim glasses and leather backpacks. I wanted to tell the dude that, if he really wanted to pull off the leather elbow patches, his blazer should have been corduroy, but I didn't want to get out of line. Still, it would have given me a chance to see if his stubble was real or just drawn on with an eyeliner brush. Like his faux-sloppy hair, it was a bit too manicured to be plausible. I was tempted to go over and sand off his girlfriend's painted-on mole with my genuine stubble, just so he'd know what it's supposed to look like. I hadn't had breakfast, though, and I was afraid getting that close to the mixed aromas of patchouli and clove-a-rettes would have overwhelmed my stomach.

[figureaddict]

That is so funny. Don't see many people like that around here anymore. Thank goodness. Really should have mentioned the elbow patches faux pas to him, deffinately should be on corduroy.

[Big Red]

I've been wondering about the mirror ownership of a lot of folks lately. I saw three different guys over the course of two days, each sporting what I call the upside down bucket do. I don't know if it has an official name, but it's essentially a bowl haircut with sideburns that go down in a straight line and meet beneath the chin, giving the appearance that the person has a hairy, upside down bucket on their head. I can't fathom what would make someone look in the mirror and think it looked good. Two of the three guys were wearing wife beaters, and all three had their undies exposed, if that sheds any light on the matter.

I then saw a guy today who had no hair above the shoulders at all (eyebrows included) except for three very thin, very long braids on the very top of his head. I'm guessing he spends many a night staring at the wall, a stack of rejection letters on the desk behind him, wondering exactly what went wrong.

[figureaddict]

You forgot also probably holding a loaded gun to their chin slowly rocking back and forth.